Third Culture Kids and Long-Term Cultural Identity

Note: This article assumes familiarity with the term "Third Culture Kid" (TCK) and some typical traits of TCKs. You can find that information by searching for "Third Culture Kids" online.

Introduction

TCKs interact significantly with two or more cultures. How does this affect their own long-term cultural identity? Specifically, to which culture do they say they belong when they are surrounded by a particular culture? To which culture do they feel they belong while they are in a specific culture? To which culture do their behavior, values, and core beliefs most correspond in a given context? The answers to these questions may or may not all be the same.

There are various ways in which TCKs (including Adult TCKs) can, intentionally or subconsciously, resolve their cultural identity. I will refer to these ways as "Cultural Styles", or simply "Styles". This categorization was inspired primarily by three sources.

Firstly, I reread Ruth Van Reken's article "Cultural Marginality for TCKs/ATCKs: Fact or Fiction?" in the September 2005 edition of Among Worlds magazine (https://www.interactionintl.org/shopproductdetail.asp?prodID=10&catID=14). (Hereafter I will refer to that article simply as "Cultural Marginality …".) This reminded me that there are some very diverse ways in which TCKs respond to their surrounding cultures. However, I soon realized that the three ways described in that article are not the only ways.

Secondly, I had been thinking about the classic model of conflict management styles proposed by Thomas and Kilmann. (E.g., see http://www.kilmanndiagnostics.com/overview-thomas-kilmann-conflict-mode-instrument-tki.) It became apparent to me that there is a correlation between ways of forming cultural identity and the conflict management styles. This makes sense, since in a way there is a conflict between the TCK, whose various cultural experiences have taught him/her to behave in certain ways, and the people of the surrounding culture.^[I1]

Lastly, I remembered the flag of the organization Third Culture Kids International. (The flag can now be found at http://tckinternational.com/information/about-tcki/tcki-flag.html.) The top left half of the flag's background is blue; the bottom right half is yellow; in the middle, in the foreground, there is a green chameleon. (That flag, in turn, borrows elements from a classic diagram used to describe third culture kids.) The diagrams I used to visualize the various Cultural Styles are based on the TCKI flag.

The various Cultural Styles are described below. Note that these are "ideal"/theoretical responses, i.e., in practice such distinct responses aren't usually found. Furthermore, the presentation of these Styles is intended to be primarily descriptive, not prescriptive. Also, many third culture kids interact with more than two cultures. For simplicity, I will only deal with two, but the essence of the Styles applies to three or more cultures as well. Finally, for simplicity I will often use "he" instead of "he/she".

In describing the various Styles, I will use a series of diagrams. In each diagram, the top left part of the square (blue) will symbolize the TCK's passport culture. The bottom right part of the square (yellow) will symbolize the host culture.^[I2] The smiley face will symbolize the TCK and the cultural identity he/she presents when surrounded by the host culture or the passport culture.^[I3]

Notes

I1. The people of the surrounding culture are in the vast majority, and often they are even oblivious to the TCK. Therefore, their "conflict management style" in relation to the TCK is almost always one of Competition.

I2. More accurate, albeit more complicated versions of the diagrams would have a gradual transition of color between the passport and host cultures, since any two cultures are likely to have some traits that are identical or very similar.

I3. It is obvious that the so-called "smileys" in the diagrams actually have a neutral facial expression. The reason for this is that I don't wish to imply that third culture kids are always happy (or always sad) with themselves and their identity, no matter which Style they use.

Cultural Styles

Bull

A bull does not adapt to its environment. When conflict arises, it tends to be aggressive. Similarly, someone using this Cultural Style keeps his/her passport culture without modification. This TCK displays the conflict management style of Competition.

This Cultural Style is the simplest to understand. There are various reasons why someone might adopt this Style. Perhaps the TCK moved away from the passport culture at a late age and already had a fairly developed identity and "personal culture". Or maybe the TCK struggled significantly with certain issues in the host culture, or with having to move abroad in general. Or perhaps the parents knowingly or unknowingly displayed a sense of cultural superiority.^[Bl1] Then again, maybe this third culture kid just doesn't have a very adaptable personality, or he tends to turn neutral differences into issues of right vs. wrong. In any case, this person may view himself not as a TCK, but as a member of the passport culture who happened to spend some time growing up abroad.

One of the advantages of the Bull Style is that it makes reentry into the passport culture easy. Another advantage is that the TCK brings an outside perspective into the host culture.

The main disadvantage of this Style is that it creates significant conflicts in the host culture. This can hinder the work or reputation of the parents or the third culture kid. It can also make the TCK feel personally alienated and isolated in the host culture.

Notes

Bl1. Many missionaries in the 19th century openly declared a sense of cultural superiority. Accordingly, they tried to impose their culture, as well as their faith, on the host people.

Butterfly

A butterfly started out as a caterpillar and then permanently changed into something very different. Analogously, a person who uses this Style fully adopts the host culture and gives up the passport culture. (The missionary equivalent of this is called "going native".) Like the Bull, this TCK exhibits the conflict management style of Competition. (He/she has picked an existing culture--albeit a different one--and is unwilling to deviate from it (again) subsequently.)

One could argue that people using the Bull or the Butterfly are not strictly "third culture kids" (since there is no "third" culture). In any case, the Butterfly Style might be adopted by someone who spent most of his/her developmental years in the host culture (possibly even being born there). Visits to the passport country may have been short or infrequent. Perhaps the parents also displayed a very positive attitude toward the host culture, and maybe they are continuing to live there. Or maybe the TCK simply fell in love with the host culture/country because of friends, particular cultural traits, the area's natural beauty, or other factors. Given the option, this TCK may choose to remain in (or eventually return to) the host culture, rather than permanently moving (back) to the passport culture. (This may not always be possible, however, due to visa restrictions and other factors.) The third culture kid may also choose to marry someone from the host culture.

One advantage of this Style is that it tends to make identification with the host culture easy. However, differences in appearance (as well as citizenship, blood line, etc.) may still prevent the third culture kid from fitting in completely. Another advantage of this Style is that if the TCK does move back to the passport culture, he brings an outside perspective into it.

The main disadvantage of this Style is that potential (re)entry into the passport culture (as well as visits to it) can create conflict. If, due to external factors, this TCK is unable to live in the host culture as an adult, he may be unhappy for many years. In this case, the TCK may also annoy the people around him by being critical of them and their culture.

Chameleon

Some species of chameleons change their colors to blend in with their surroundings. Predictably, a third culture kid using the Chameleon Style adopts whichever culture he/she is in at the time. (This type is identified by the same name in "Cultural Marginality …".) This Style is based on Accommodation.

The Chameleon might be used by a TCK who is naturally adaptable, seeks harmony, wants to quickly be accepted and make local friends, has frequently transitioned between the passport culture and host culture, or has lived in several cultures. One might also speculate that a person influenced by collectivist societies would have more motivation to adopt this Style than somebody influenced by individualistic societies.

Note that almost all third culture kids use the Chameleon to at least a limited degree. That's because, in most circumstances, changes in environment force changes in behavior. For example, somebody who is used to traveling by subway most of the time will have to stop doing so in a country with no subway system. Also, behavior which is typical in one country may be illegal in another. Finally, even people in a very artificial environment, such as on a naval vessel, may have to make some changes, such as adjusting their dress to fit the climate. (Besides, being restricted to such an environment is in itself a change from life in the passport country.)

This Style has the advantage of precluding culture-based conflicts with people in either culture. That, in turn, allows the TCK to quickly start being accepted by those around him and developing friendships after each move. Furthermore, literature about TCKs often hails the ability to adapt and blend in as a great strength of TCKs, applicable to many types of situations. Presumably, practicing this skill further sharpens it. (However, as with the Butterfly, the people in the host culture may still not consider the TCK to belong to them.) Furthermore, this TCK can be a mediator between individuals of both cultures; i.e., the TCK can help resolve particular issues. Finally, the third culture kid's own experience and worldview are broadened.

A disadvantage is that the TCK's identity may seem inconsistent to the TCK and to others who see both sides of the TCK. This may prompt questions like: "Who is this person really, at the core? Is there even a core, or is this person just controlled by external circumstances?" In reality, of course, culture is only a part of one's identity. Alternatively, the TCK may seem inauthentic to himself or to others. That is, rather than the TCK seeming to change identities, he may seem to be hiding part of his identity. Also, while the TCK may be able to quickly start developing friendships, it's possible that the depth of those friendships is limited, as the TCK probably avoids frequently bringing up experiences from the other culture.

Tasmanian Devil

A Tasmanian devil draws lots of attention to itself (by making noise) and may also be aggressive. A Tasmanian Devil TCK emphasizes his/her differences from whichever culture he/she is in at the time. That is, he displays the passport culture while located in the host culture and displays the host culture while in the passport culture. (This type is called "Screamer" in "Cultural Marginality …".) This Style doesn't exhibit any of the conflict management styles in the classic model; but we might say it displays "Contrariness".^[Ts1]

This Cultural Style is the inverse of the Chameleon. As is the case with the Chameleon, the way this TCK behaves depends on the cultural context. This Style is one of the most interesting ones, as it initially seems strange that someone would try to promote conflict. However, there are some reasonable motivations for this behavior. One is that the TCK wants to avoid having his cultural identity suppressed or assimilated by the surrounding culture.^[Ts2] Another is that the TCK knows he will make some cultural blunders and display some knowledge gaps about the culture (e.g., about sports or music). To avoid being seen as simply rude, odd, or ignorant, the third culture kid intentionally declares or demonstrates his foreignness, as a disclaimer. Yet another reason a TCK might adopt this Style is that he may feel responsible for representing unrepresented or underrepresented points of view—i.e., "playing the devil's advocate". (Note: The name of this Style is NOT based on this idiom.) If a particular perspective is otherwise not represented in a group, this TCK often feels that it should be represented, and that the task falls to him. If a perspective is only represented by a minority, the third culture kid may side with the minority, knowing well what it feels like to be in that position.^[Ts3] Yet another possible motivation for adopting this Style is that the TCK is so used to feeling different from the surrounding people that that is how he feels most comfortable. Then again, maybe this individual simply finds conflict in general stimulating and energizing, or he likes the accompanying attention. Alternatively, the TCK may be differentiating himself out of a sense of personal superiority or, conversely, to hide a feeling of inferiority.

One advantage of this Style is that the TCK brings an outside perspective into each culture. Another is that such a TCK is often more willing/eager to support those on the social fringe (and may even become an advocate for social justice).

One disadvantage of this Style is that it brings conflict, and perhaps alienation of the TCK, in each culture. Furthermore, as with the Chameleon, the third culture kid may seem, to himself or to others, to be changing identities or concealing part of his identity.

Notes

Ts1. Thomas and Kilmann assume that if someone is not being cooperative (but isn't avoiding the conflict altogether either), it's because the person has some specific goals of his own he is trying to achieve. However, the Tasmanian Devil doesn't have any specific, consistent goals he wants to achieve. Instead, he is being uncooperative for the sake of being uncooperative (and for one or more of the reasons described). On the conflict management diagram, Contrariness would be at or close to zero on the "Assertiveness" scale (like Avoidance and Accommodation), but in the negative direction on the "Cooperativeness" scale. I.e., it would be the mirror image of Accommodation.

Ts2. TCKs with culturally individualistic backgrounds may resist assimilation in order to preserve their individuality. (The attempt to maintain or create a distinct personal identity could also be simply a developmental phase for some TCKs.) TCKs with collectivistic backgrounds, by contrast, may resist assimilation by a new culture to avoid "betraying" their previous culture. (Collectivistic TCKs may also feel the need to defend the other culture against criticism.)

Ts3. All Cultural Styles, except the Turtle (below) and the Chameleon, display the tendency to represent uncommon points of view to a certain degree and in certain contexts.

Mule

A mule is a cross between a horse and a donkey, a kind of "average" of the two. A Mule TCK evenly blends the passport culture and host culture. That is, he/she practices Compromise.

This Style fits a classic diagram used to describe a TCK.^[Ml1] An example of using this Style is experiencing a very time-oriented culture and a very event-oriented culture and adopting the middle of the time-event orientation spectrum. Another example is wearing typical clothing from one culture on certain days and clothing from the other culture on alternate days—or simply wearing clothing that is common to both cultures all the time. This Style might be natural for a TCK who has had significant positive contact with both the passport culture and the host culture. This is especially the case if the third culture kid is not inclined to adjust culturally after each relocation.

This Style has several advantages. One is that there are no severe cultural conflicts in either culture. Another is that the TCK tends to avoid negative extremes, i.e., pronounced weaknesses of a particular culture (unless the same extreme is shared by both cultures). Moreover, the TCK brings a somewhat new perspective into each culture. Furthermore, this "third culture" is a kind of "middle ground" between the cultures. It can therefore help promote understanding of the other culture. This, in turn, can help foster friendships between members of the two cultures.

The disadvantages of this Style are mostly the complements of its advantages. One disadvantage is that there are mild conflicts in each culture. Another is that the TCK tends to avoid the pronounced strengths that are unique to each of the cultures. Finally, the TCK's identity may seem culturally "neutral" or "bland".

Notes

Ml1. The classic TCK diagram to which I referred contains a blue circle on the left, which represents the passport culture, and a yellow circle on the right, which represents the host culture. The area where the circles overlaps is green and represents the TCK's personal culture. Note that neither that diagram nor the diagrams in this article should be interpreted as Venn diagrams. Rather, it is the way in which the colors are—or aren't—mixed that symbolizes the way TCKs deal with the two cultures.

Platypus

A platypus has fur like that of a mammal and a bill like that of a duck. It uses electroreception, which is typical among fish; and it lays eggs and is venomous, which is typical among reptiles. While this combination of traits is effective for the platypus, it seems strange to many observers. A TCK who has adopted the Platypus Style consciously evaluates and selects for himself/herself characteristics of each culture. This Style is based on Collaboration.

This Style fits the classic definition of a TCK: "… elements from each culture are assimilated into the TCK's life experience …" (from Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds, 2001). The Platypus is similar to the Mule, but more complex. Like the Mule, the Platypus adopts a single new culture created from the original cultures. However, the Platypus' new culture is NOT just an "average", a smooth blend of the original cultures. Instead, the new culture may include unique, unmodified traits from each original culture. As the process of evaluating and selecting specific cultural traits requires significant self-awareness and analytical skills, this Style will be found primarily among Adult TCKs. In order to adopt this Style, a TCK also needs to have chosen or developed a set of values according to which to decide what is "good" (see below).

This Cultural Style has some significant advantages. Ideally, the new "third" culture has the best combination of traits from the two cultures.^[Pl1] This new culture is therefore better (according to the TCK's set of values) than either of the original cultures. It thus truly enriches the third culture kid. Furthermore, the surrounding culture generally sees only the more positive traits of the other culture (passport culture or host culture) displayed in the third culture. Thus, members of the surrounding culture are enriched, can learn to appreciate the other culture, and don't have many cultural conflicts with the TCK.

The main disadvantage of this Style is that the TCK's identity may seem like a patchwork (i.e., not integrated) or odd (i.e., not typical of anyone else) to the TCK and those around him.

Notes

Pl1. The Platypus' culture does not necessarily include all the individually best traits from the two cultures, as certain traits may not combine very well with certain other traits.

Turtle

When conflict arises, a turtle avoids interaction with the outside world by hiding in its shell. Similarly, a Turtle TCK avoids any significant interaction with the surrounding culture. ("Cultural Marginality …" calls this Style "Wallflower".) The conflict management style is one of Avoidance.

This type of behavior is found not only in third culture kids, but also in "monocultural" individuals. It is sometimes simply the result of a shy or introverted personality. However, among TCKs there are also some other potential reasons for this behavior. Perhaps the TCK is afraid of making cultural mistakes and facing embarrassment or cultural conflict. (Linguistic mistakes can be a particular concern for some, especially those with perfectionistic personalities.) Or maybe this person repeatedly bonded with other people and was separated from them by external factors. As a result, the third culture kid is afraid of renewed bonding, since that could lead to more separation. Or maybe the TCK thinks to himself/herself "I will never really fit in and belong here anyway, so why bother engaging?"

This Style has the advantage of precluding heartache due to renewed separation. It also allows the TCK to avoid conflicts and cultural mistakes.

One disadvantage of this Style is that the third culture kid tends to feel isolated and lonely. Another is that the TCK will likely gain less skill and confidence in performing various tasks in each culture (including speaking the local language). Also, if the TCK strictly adopts this Style, the only types of work and other activities he can engage in are ones that don't require interaction with the surrounding culture.

Conclusion

As we have seen, there are several different ways in which a TCK can form his/her long-term cultural identity. Each of these Cultural Styles has both advantages and disadvantages. Which Style is the most helpful depends on the third culture kid and his situation. No Style is intrinsically the best or the worst. In practice, most TCKs use a mix of some of the above Styles. Furthermore, although a given TCK generally doesn't change Styles each time he moves from one cultural context to another,^[C1] he may switch Styles repeatedly during his lifetime. For example, he may start out as a Chameleon, since as a child he is probably especially adaptable. As he gets older and his values start stabilizing, he may become a Mule. Some years later, he may start consciously reflecting on his upbringing and compare the various cultural influences, so he may become a Platypus. It is clear that knowing about the various Cultural Styles, including the related strengths, weaknesses, and motivations, can help us better understand ourselves and other TCKs. Based on our situation, we might even decide to try a different Style.

Notes

C1. If there are regular changes in a TCK's personal culture based on the surroundings, we say that the TCK is either a Chameleon or a Tasmanian Devil—as the case may be—rather than that he keeps changing Styles.