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Resources for and about Missionary Kids
and other "Third Culture Kids"
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"Where are you from?"

Are you tired of being asked "Where are you from?" Are you unsure how to respond to questions like "Where is home for you?" If so, you may be interested in the sample answers below. They range from practical to mildly philosophical to silly.

Ways to answer the question
"Where are you from?"

This is actually a grammatically and semantically strange, or even incorrect, question. Normally, the verb "to be", when not used with another verb, indicates a state of being (I know, I am explaining a word through a word with the same root), whereas the preposition "from" relates to movement, i.e., action. Yet even the question, "Where have you come from?" is semantically ambiguous. Anyway, some types of information the asker may be looking for are:
  • Where you normally live (if you are clearly a tourist at the moment)
  • Where you most recently lived (if you just moved from somewhere)
  • Where you grew up (which affects your personal culture)
  • Your parents'/ancestors' ethnicity
  • Your citizenship
Following are some potential responses. Italic text is for actual answers; normal text is explanatory text for you, the reader. List indentation is used to group similar responses and related explanations. Slashes indicate a choice of words, and parentheses indicate optional words.
  • Country X.
    • Just pick one of the countries with which you have a connection. For example, you could pick the one that would sound the most exotic to your listener. One result of this would be that your listener would be more likely to overlook cultural mistakes you might make.
  • Country A, country B, ... and Country N.
    • List all the countries with which you had a significant connection during your developmental years. If you always use the same order (e.g., chronological), you'll get pretty quick at this. This answer may prevent follow-up questions.
  • Do you mean the country in which I was born, the one in which I have citizenship, the one in which I've spent the most time, the one whose culture has influenced me the most, ..., or ...?
    • What do you mean by that?
    • Could you please rephrase that?
    • Could you be more specific?
  • Most recently, from State/Province X.
    • This is a fun way to keep some surprises for later without being dishonest.
  • May I select more than one answer?
  • Would you like the short answer or the long answer?
    • Tell me how much time you have, and I'll tailor my answer accordingly.
    • Do you really want to know?
    • I hope you like stories. (Make yourself comfortable.) ...
    • Ask my friend, I'm in a hurry.
    • Let's see, where do I start ...?
    • You answer first.
  • Why do you ask?
  • That's a good question. Let me know if you find the answer.
    • I don't know.
      • People are really caught off guard by this one. :-) They often think you didn't understand the question, especially if they're speaking a language in which they think you aren't fluent.
    • I wish I knew.
    • It's complicated.
      • This is a spoof of the Facebook relationship status with the same phrasing.
    • Is that a trick question?
    • What kind of question is that?
    • Oh no, not that question again!
    • Straight to the hard questions, eh?
    • Do I get penalized for wrong answers?
    • Hmm, ... May I call a friend?
      • This is a reference to the American TV show Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?, specifically, to the option of requesting assistance from a third party in answering questions.
  • I'll give you 5 guesses.
  • I'm international.
    • This might seem like a quick and accurate answer, but it almost always prompts follow-up questions.
  • Everywhere and nowhere.
    • Everywhere.
    • Nowhere.
    • All over.
    • Have you seen the movie The Bourne Identity? ... Do you remember how Bourne was trying to figure out who he was and where he was from? ... That's me.
    • Answer in robotic tone: PLA-NET EARTH.
  • A galaxy far, far away ... . Just kidding.
    • This is a spoof of the Star Wars intro.
  • I don't know where I'm from, but I know where I'm going.
  • From my parents, just like everybody else.
    • From Noah.
    • From Adam.
    • Technically, these statements answer the question "From whom ...", not "From where ...".
  • Have you heard of Country/Continent X? That's one place I'm NOT from.
    • You could choose Antarctica, some obscure island, etc.
  • Let me direct you to my website/blog, it explains everything.
  • That information is classified.
  • Tell a short riddle about one of your countries. Some samples:
    • I grew up just north of Victoria Falls.
    • I hail from the country with the most people.
    • My origins lie in the region once ruled by the Mayan civilization.
    • Note that this is often more of an intro than an answer that satisfies the asker.
  • X North/South (Latitude), Y East/West (Longitude).
    • You could just use the coordinates of one of the cities you lived in.
    • A friend of mine suggested a more abstract answer: using a weighted average of various locations.
      • You could weight the locations by how long you lived in each place, by how much each place affected your personal culture, etc.
      • To average the coordinates, use positive numbers for North and East, and Negative numbers for South and West. Convert minutes (if any) to decimals.
      • Note that you may need to add/subtract 180 degrees Longitude to/from your result. E.g., if you had Tokyo, Japan and Anchorage (Alaska), U.S.A., the average should be in the North Pacific, not near Brest, France.

Ways to answer the question
"Where is home (for you)?"

Note: Some of the answers from above will work here as well, but they are not reproduced here.
  • What is home?
    • This is actually an interesting question on which to reflect. Here are some elements that may relate to the concept of "home":
      • Kinship
      • Belonging, feeling wanted/needed/essential/...
      • Familiarity, comfort, contentment
      • Frequent, voluntary geographical proximity, perhaps over an extended time period
    • By the way ... You know you're a TCK when you look up the word "home" in the dictionary. :-)
    • Home ... how do you spell that?
  • Give the street address of the place where you are currently staying.
  • Where my family is.
    • Where my (close) friends are (i.e., unevenly distributed across the globe).
      • This was for a long time my standard answer.
  • Where other Third Culture Kids are.
  • [Well,] diff'rent lands I could call home,
    And sometimes it's wher'er I roam.
    Still, home can everywhere seem far,
    Except where other pilgrims are.
    • This is from the poem "MK Reflections".
  • Have you seen the movie The Terminal? ...
    • Airports.
    • Airplanes.
  • I'm a nomad/pilgrim/wanderer/gypsy/cosmopolite/....
    • Are you familiar with the term "homeless"?
  • The new/heavenly Jerusalem.
    • Heaven.
  • Church X.
    • I.e., the particular church you currently attend or with which you identify most.
  • Where I spend the night.
    • Where I hang my hat.
  • Where my Possession X is.
    • E.g. Where my computer is.
  • Pick some place where you really feel comfortable and free to be yourself, e.g., the mountains, the library, your art studio, your friend's house, etc.
  • At www.myhomepage.com.
    • Give the URL of your homepage. The goal here is to create a play on words, not necessarily to direct the listener to further information.
  • At "/home".
    • This is one of the main directories in the Linux operating system.
  • Between 3rd and 1st base.
    • This is a reference to the "home" plate (starting and ending location) in baseball.

So, pick a few answers that you like and try them at your next party or conference. :-)
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